dear son, i stole a shirt from you.  i hate it.  i mean, i bought the shirt for you.  i thought it was a good looking shirt when i bought it.  but i’m woman enough to admit when i’m wrong.  the trouble is, you must’ve fallen in love with it because you would wear it a couple times a week and that was just wrong.  and so, instead of risking the damage i might do to your self esteem by talking to you about something that doesn’t look good on you, i stole it.  and it’s currently sitting on the floor of my closet. thanks for not noticing it’s missing. love,mom

dear son,

i stole a shirt from you.  i hate it.  i mean, i bought the shirt for you.  i thought it was a good looking shirt when i bought it.  but i’m woman enough to admit when i’m wrong.  the trouble is, you must’ve fallen in love with it because you would wear it a couple times a week and that was just wrong. 

and so, instead of risking the damage i might do to your self esteem by talking to you about something that doesn’t look good on you, i stole it.  and it’s currently sitting on the floor of my closet.

thanks for not noticing it’s missing.

love,
mom

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